You are precious in God's sight. He is your remarkable redeemer.

Back to update a little on the recent Church camp.
(Note: A very spiritual post ahead. You can choose not to read it if you don't wish to.)

This year was my first time attending the Youth Camp, and I gotta admit that it was absolutely fun! The one experience which really got me thinking was the "Underground Church" which we had on the last night.

For those of you who don't know what it is, it's like a reanactment of how Christians in other countries are getting prosecuted for their belief in Christ. They blind-folded us and cuffed our hands together to make it seem like we are really in a situation where we are 'Christians about to get prosecuted'.

They 'tortured' us by making us constantly shift our positions (eg. From squating to Kneeling to Standing to Sitting position) and there were people who would sprinkle/pour water on us and you could hear lots of shouting here and there. I admit the total darkness from the blindfold over my eyes scared me for a while at the beginning as we really did not know what to expect. The constant shift in our positions and the aching positions were not the ones that disturbed me though.

After a seemingly long time of waiting in agony of not knowing what might happen next, finally myself as well as a few others (I think) were led to this Van and we were brought elsewhere. Finally when the van stopped, we were led to the roadside to just sit and continue waiting.

Finally I was asked to stand up and this guy led me to elsewhere and took off my blindfold and started interogating me. He kept on asking me to deny Jesus Christ and that if I denied Christ, I would immediately be let go. However, I refused to deny Christ and so he asked me to go into the bunker (this rather deep and VERY dark hole). And asked me to stay there till I denied Christ. He said it was my choice. I could just say a simple "yes" and I wouldn't need to go down there. Despite constantly saying I won't deny Christ, I simply did not dare to go down into the bunker. And whatever the guy said to me when I was standing there deciding if I should or should not go into the bunker really made me feel very angry as well as upset at myself.

After a while, he simply let me go. Back in the van on the way back to the campsite, I simply sat inside thinking to myself with my friend comforting me. From this simple experience, by me not being able to muster up the courage to go into that bunker for just a while, it made my realise how little faith I have in God. By me not having the courage to go in there, I felt so guilty. All of us keep on saying that "Yes, I have faith in God". But it is through experiencing situations like that that I truly realise that we actually don't have as much faith in God as we constantly say.

It is when we go through these things that our faith is tested. Back at the campsite, I'm not afraid to admit that I cried my heart out. The amount of guilt that I felt was tremondous. It was then that I realised that I haven't been leading a very spiritual life. I have been casting God aside at certain times just because I had 'other things to do'. I realised that I needed to make more time for God and that faith in God doesn't just come to you. It needs to be worked on. This experience is one which would stick with me for life. It is one which taught me so much. And I truly thank God for speaking to me through this experience.

And I would like to thank Johanna, Lixin, Shereen, Grace, Rachel B, my brother (even though he doesn't know that I am really grateful to him) and many other people who helped me by praying for me, comforting me and being there for me when I felt so down as well as telling and reassuring me that God will always love us no matter what we do.

Thank you so much! I am truly grateful. (: